What is an assault rifle?
We we must admit that we don’t exactly know how to determine if something is an assault rifle. We simply take Dianne Feinstein’s word for it, because she is a firearms expert.
How many people are killed by assault rifles every year?
The FBI claims that the total number of people murdered by all types of rifles in 2011 was 323. We know this is fake, however, because we believe the media accurately portrays thousands of people being mowed down by assault rifles every year, and assault rifles are only a small percentage of all rifles.
The assault weapon ban targeted bayonet lugs for a reason. Where’s the bayonet?
We’re happy to report that, thanks to a generous donation from the death merchant Model 1 Sales, we now have a bayonet attached to the AR-15. As Diane Feinstein pointed out many years ago, drive-by bayonettings are a big problem and a key reason they were targeted by the Assault Weapon Ban.
Why doesn’t the picture update as fast as I click “reload” anymore?
The load on our servers and the amount of bandwidth we were using was straining our meager budget, so we now only upload new frames every few seconds instead of streaming the video. We’re confident this is still fast enough to catch any spontaneous violence.
Aren’t you afraid an underprivileged urban-outdoorsman might break in and steal the rifle?
No, we have the rifle and camera setup in a secured office building with an alarm system. Besides, if criminals actually stole the weapons they later used in crimes, gun control laws wouldn’t make much sense.
How big is that rifle?
It’s actually quite large. It’s well over three feet long and weighs about ten pounds! We were taken aback when we purchased this, because we expected a cheap, small, and easily concealable weapon that would be more logical for use in a crime, not this beast that is anything but!
It really cost $1,500?
Yes. People keep asking this. It was one of the first things we learned in our endeavor – assault weapons are apparently some of the most expensive weapons you can buy. The really strange thing is we have also discovered that assault weapons use lower powered cartridges, and actually are a lot less powerful than a shotgun or a hunting rifle! We would like to obtain a dreaded 50 caliber assault weapon that our fellow anti-gun groups keep pushing to ban, but were aghast to discover that these cost $8,000 and weigh 40 pounds!
Ok, they’re less powerful, but they shoot really fast?
No. We actually watched someone fire one just like ours at the range when we bought it. It does not go bang-bang-bang and spray bullets like in the movies!! It only fires one shot with each pull of the trigger. Apparently this is also just like a more powerful semi-automatic hunting rifle. We have no doubt that this does not effect the lethality of these weapons, though, because what hunting rifle has a bayonet lug?
Have you seen any violence yet?
No, but we have no doubt that we will soon with the help of additional volunteers. We started this web site so that others could help us watch – we do not know what happens when we go home at night!
Is that a flash hider on that thing?
Yes, on the end of the barrel, that’s an actual flash hider!